"In fact,everyone in my class at school was enormous. They had to stop us doingcross country running because we dented a viaduct." A couple of peoplelaughed out loud at that one. "So I'm wearing my 'Harvest Festival'corset today - all is safely gathered in."Another pause to leer at any older ladies there might be in theaudience."Well I have to go now, but I'll check back with you later on to makesure you're keeping up. Tell you what - could you say hello when yousee me? When I come on, I'll say, 'Hello, boys and girls', and yousay, 'Hello, Sarah!' as loud as you can. Shall we try it?'I paused to get some audience reaction. There were some cheerfulgrunts."Hello, boys and girls!" I yelled."Hello, Sarah!" they shouted back."Sorry? Did you say something?" I said. "I thought I heard a softwhisper on the wind. Come on, you can do better than that! Hello,boys and girls!" Hello, Sarah!" they yelled, much louder."Mm, all right, but try to do better next time! I'll see you. ”“There maybe some occasions when my wife will be required to attend instead of my mistress. On those occasions I’ll expect you to attend with me and you will pretend to enjoy yourself. If at anytime during this process, you cheat on me again, then we will be done and I will restart the divorce, since I’ve already filed. Do you understand?”“Yes, Paul.”“Would you like some more tea?”“Yes, please.”I got up and walked to the kitchen. After refilling her glass I returned to the patio to find Deb sitting with her head in her hands. When I put the glass down, she looked up at me with watering eyes.“I’ve really fucked it up, haven’t I? Coming back under these conditions will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ll do whatever I can, for as long as I can, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to see it through.”“Deb, if you work as hard as you can, if you do not cheat again, and it doesn’t work, then we’ll split up and it’ll be under the most fair conditions I can manage. Until then, I’ll move.
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